Part 1 - "Is Your Team Actually Psychologically Safe, Or Just Really Nice?"

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You believe your team has psychological safety because everyone gets along and no one argues. But here is the uncomfortable truth: if your team never disagrees, you might have a psychological safety problem, not a solution.

The Misconception That is Quietly Killing Innovation

I often observe this in my consulting work. Teams confuse being "nice" with being psychologically safe, and, honestly, it's one of the most harmful misconceptions I encounter in contemporary workplaces.

Here is what happens: When "nice" becomes shorthand for "do not express your true thoughts unless they are pleasant," you are creating the opposite of psychological safety. You are fostering a culture of polite silence – and trust me, I have seen brilliant ideas perish in such environments.

When "Nice" Teams Fail Spectacularly

Take the recent Boeing 737 MAX crisis. Investigations revealed that some engineers had concerns about the MCAS system but felt pressure to stay quiet rather than challenge the prevailing optimism about the aircraft's timeline. The cost of that silence? Two crashes (Lion Air Flight 610 – 189 and Ethiopian Airlines Flight 302 – 157 fatalities), 346 lives lost, and billions in damages. Sometimes being "nice" and avoiding difficult conversations has catastrophic consequences.

What Psychological Safety Means (It Is Not What You Think)

The research is quite clear on this – psychological safety is not about comfort. It is about having what Amy Edmondson calls "a shared belief that it is OK to take interpersonal risks." That means asking questions that might seem stupid, admitting mistakes, and yes... disagreeing with your colleagues (even your boss). Notice what is missing there? Comfort. Safety and comfort are entirely different things, and I wish more leaders understood this distinction.

The Real Test for Your Team

I always ask teams to think about this: When was the last time someone:

• Challenged a popular idea in a meeting?

• Openly admitted they screwed something up?

• Asked a question that revealed they were confused?

• Disagreed with you in front of others?

If you are drawing blanks here, you lack psychological safety – you possess what I call "psychological politeness." And that is not going to foster the innovation and learning your organisation needs.

Here is the Thing About Being Kind vs. Nice

Proper psychological safety is about being kind, not merely nice. Being kind involves being respectful, caring, and honest—even when it's uncomfortable. Being nice is simply the easy way out of difficult conversations (and I'm guilty of this, too, sometimes).

Try This Next Week

Want to assess your team's proper psychological safety? In your next meeting, try asking: "What are we missing here?" or "Who sees this differently?"

Then – and this is crucial – sit in the silence. Don't jump in to fill the awkward pause. Observe what unfolds. Your team's response (or lack thereof) will tell you everything you need to know about your actual position.

What is your opinion on this? Have you seen teams mistake "nice" for psychologically safe? I would love to hear your experiences below.

Reference: Edmondson, A. C., & Kerrissey, M. J. (2025). What people get wrong about psychological safety: Six misconceptions that have led organizations astray. Harvard Business Review, 103(3), 1-16. https://hbr.org/2025/05/what-people-get-wrong-about-psychological-safety