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  • Writer's pictureAustin Aloysius Tay

The art of not listening to yourself

Updated: Oct 20, 2023

On her mind

It must have looked ridiculous with a title advocating not to listen to oneself. Allow me to explain. It is not easy to do this, I can guarantee you. We all think, reminisce, and even try to predict future events based on our learning. While this can be useful at times, most of the time, the little voice in our head can sometimes become a hurdle in the way we want to live our lives. It would be great if the little voice did not bombard us constantly in our heads (we sometimes call this little voice – experience, conscience, fear or worry).


If we take time to listen to what we tell ourselves, we will know that we spend too much time pondering things that we have no control over, such as what has happened in the past or what will happen in the future. We allow these thoughts to stop us in our tracks and not be able to move forward to where we need to be. We do not live in the moment when we are too preoccupied with our thoughts. We, instead, will look at ways to avoid uncomfortable and annoying thoughts by running away or suppressing them. But we all know those thoughts and feelings will come back repeatedly.


Learn to embrace the good, bad and ugly. Accepting what happens, we can pick up and get on with life. It sounds easy, but we like to revert to our comfortable ways as creatures of habit. We need to take a step back to gain perspective on our situations. In doing so, we will begin to see how we are affected by the circumstances and what we can do next to move forward.


To live our lives with purpose and value, we must understand that it is a process. The peculiarities of life are that we will always face unexpected situations. Our determination not to be dragged under but to be above will enable us to be true to ourselves.

I can guarantee that the road to living a valued life is with obstacles. There is no shame in being defeated along the way. We all need to show compassion towards ourselves (this is different from self-pity). Failures can only help to strengthen our determination to achieve what we set out to do. Live life with purpose.


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